How to Live a Fully Charged Life with Author Meaghan Murphy
Meaghan B Murphy is a longtime magazine editor, writer, on-air lifestyle expert, podcaster, and certified trainer. Currently the Editor-in-Chief at Woman’s Day magazine, Murphy is a media veteran who previously served as executive editor of Good Housekeeping. She lives with her husband and their three children and fur baby in Westfield, New Jersey.
Be Amazing the FULLY CHARGED WAY
What are you good at? How did you shine this week? In what ways did you totally crush today? You are likely doing many, many things every single day that set you apart, that other people admire and that you can be proud of. We’re all fighting the good fight and racking up wins, big and small—and it’s time to more regularly and intentionally celebrate them. Unfortunately, we aren’t always good at relishing in our well-earned accomplishments, our inherent strengths and hard-fought habits—especially women. We take them for granted or are quick to share the spotlight or move on. One study found that it’s due to “backlash avoidance.” There’s a lot to unpack there but what I’m suggesting is simply recognizing your triumphs to yourself. Because if you can’t recognize your victories, no one else will. And when you celebrate and take ownership of your awesomeness, the swell of positivity and confidence energizes you to do even more amazing things.
Research shows that when people focus on what they’ve done well or even on small achievements, ratings of well-being and mood go up—they’re hap-pier and mentally healthier. And not only in the short-term. One study found that people who journaled about their accomplishments daily for just a week had higher well-being scores even six months later. No wonder: Achievement is one of the five cornerstones of Seligman’s well-being theory—but recogniz-ing it is key. If you want to fill a journal with all the ways you’re killing it, do it.
A few other simple ways:
Give yourself a pep talk. My son, James, will tell you he’s the best basketball player on the court, the fastest dude in lacrosse, the best artist in class . . . Kids point out how they shine because recognition and attention feels so good. That doesn’t change when we grow up. Take a minute every day to pat yourself on the back (try doing it while brushing your teeth!) with even a fraction of kid-level swagger. Or do it when you feel drained and need extra juju to take on a challenge
Connect the dots. Achievement hits harder when you link a successful outcome to something you did, your hard work or a decision you made. Like how a friend told me that whenever her boys are being particularly awesome, she thinks about how her parenting efforts, sacrifices and choices helped get them there. See yourself through a friend’s eyes. What do people notice about you? What do they compliment you on? Or if you were your BFF, how would you give you props? Make the voice in your head your best ally and hype person, not an adversary or neutral nobody.
own your piece of the puzzle. Resist the urge to attribute your achievement to others—whether you’re talking to yourself or accepting praise from someone. Yes, it takes a village. (And by it I mean everything.) You can still take credit; be humble and proud.
Accept all the compliments. I know this woman who bats away compliments like mosquitos. It makes me want to shake the praise into her! While you might think it’s cool or funny to be self-deprecating—and sometimes it is—if you can’t celebrate even a little when someone points out how much you rock, what’s the point?